Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I have learned alot thru reading blogs and books.
I have come to believe in my HigherPower. That in itself is a miracle to me. I have come to peace with myself and my HigherPower.
One of the things I have prayed about was for me to get better. I was in a pretty dark place for a long time.
I am excited about life again, excited about my family. I am getting out and doing things. This all came about after I started believing in my HigherPower, after praying.
I still have a ways to go, but I feel my beautiful, happy, perfect family was there the whole time. I just had to find myself again. We may not be perfect in some peoples eyes. We are perfect for ourselves.
Ryan has been sober for 2 and 1/2 months now. He has been home a month now.
He is working, although it is just parttime.
Jerry is actually helping Ryan by showing him how to look on our local job search for help wanted ads and how to apply for them.
Ryan really likes his new job and is doing really well at it.
I am still driving him to work. He should get his drivers license back this week. Yes I know I am enabling.
But I am doing what I think is best. He is sober, he is working.
He is feeling confident and actually good about himself. He is excited about getting on with his life.
The only time he has asked me for money is for a movie once and a loan of $95 to get his drivers license reinstated.
We also bought a car for him.
We do have a contract with him.
This is what is expected of him
Makes his car payments to us.
Pays for his insurance, gas and repairs.
He will not recieve any money from me for anything.
He will get another full time or part time job.
We will discuss time frame for him moving out. (It is something I want to happen ASAP)
He agrees to the fact this is his last chance.
If he cannot meet the conditions of the contract the car will be taken away from him. We paid $2700 for it.
He will get on his feet soon and be out of my house. I will not do this again.
He is feeling really good, I know most people will say I am enabling.
I think I am a Mom, proud that her son is sober. Willing to give him this last chance. I am willing to help he get a new start. What happens if this fails? He will probably die if he drinks again. If he stays sober he will live and find a way.
I pray that this lasts, I pray that every family of addicts can find what I have. I pray for Debby and B everyday.