tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214964853469570802.post3375249090999099968..comments2023-08-19T19:38:10.529-07:00Comments on Where is my beautiful, happy, perfect family?: What happened to my beautiful, magical, happy, perfect family?Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07175371164639037639noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214964853469570802.post-12564017071744468542009-10-22T16:16:33.118-07:002009-10-22T16:16:33.118-07:00I am sorry you also are having to experience this ...I am sorry you also are having to experience this painful journey with so many of us bloggers. Your story is very similar to mine with some tweaks. The recovery process takes time, but the awareness of the co-dependent behavior and attending meetings are all very positive steps. Addicts lie, my son lies when the truth would work better. I don't question it anymore. I don't question what caused my son's addiction anymore, it is a disease. Just say no, to the addict, not easy as you will see from other's posts including mine, but necessary. You are not alone.The neverending battle of child's opiate addictionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04138779247145438268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214964853469570802.post-43579884494088236592009-10-22T15:33:35.667-07:002009-10-22T15:33:35.667-07:00"He relies on me anytime he needs money. I am..."He relies on me anytime he needs money. I am a codependent. What money he does get from his part-time job goes to clothes or eating out, probably alcohol and any other toys he thinks he wants. He is out of a job now.<br />I would like to set boundries. This I really need to work on."<br /><br />This is what you wrote, and I pray that you will learn that giving your son money is enabling him. You say you are a codependent, but please don't believe that means you are not worthy of recovery from this. You are a mother.<br /><br />Please, never ever give him money! He needs to pay rent. That's what I did. You can choose to put that rent into a savings, like I did. Your son must pay rent or move out. Period. He is 22. It is selfish of your son to buy toys or anything else. <br /><br />When my son moved out, I took his rent savings and paid his apartment complex directly. It never touched my son's hands. <br /><br />Addicts lie, I'm afraid. All they think about it wanting to use. They love you, but my son says they get a case of the "f--k it's) and don't think about consequences.<br /><br />I am a codependent, too. But, I am learning that loving my son means I cannot enable his addiction. It's going to get rough, but once you learn to save "I love you, but "no" it gets easier. That was my first step-- "I love you, but no!" Practice that.<br /><br />HugsDebby of Oxycontin and Opiate Addiction: A Mother's Storyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14881167853310152283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214964853469570802.post-78601305075033093972009-10-22T15:30:58.038-07:002009-10-22T15:30:58.038-07:00Lynn,
My heart broke as I read your post. You hav...Lynn,<br /><br />My heart broke as I read your post. You have taken the first step to freedom, by admitting that you cannot get through this on your own, that you have a problem and need help. Many adult children of alcoholics are codependent; it is learned bahavior, to cope with the chaos around them.<br /><br />You and I have quite a lot in common, both coming from a families where alcohol was abused. I do not drink myself. My oldest two sons abused drugs, and I am familiar with rescuing my kids from consequences and from themselves. <br /><br />Finally, a little over three years ago, we told our second son that he either had to get help or get out. It was the best thing we ever did. He agreed to go to Teen Challenge, and he has been sober since he went. <br /><br />If you'd like to read more about our story, go by our blog and click on the first item in the right-hand column "Freedom to Live, Nothing to Hide." The blog address is: www.glasshouseministries.blogspot.com<br /><br />I just want you to know that I am adding you and your family to the Glass House Ministries prayer list.<br /><br />Hang in there,<br />CheriAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12298890660755610835noreply@blogger.com